I receive a lot of emails from women who have doubts or concerns about going through their divorce. Many thought they were okay or even wanted divorce before their husband is not around and the reality is about to come in, you also have doubts. I often have people who say things like "Should I tell him I miss him or just admit it's too late?" or "Are these feelings normal just because the divorce is so final? Will they ever go away?"
Well, I can not see you in the future, but I can tell you that whenever you're in doubt and little nagging the voice in the back of mind starts to rest you, it would definitely not hurt at least be open the idea of listening . Because unrest and discomfort do not usually happen when you are fully satisfied and at peace with the current situation. Yes, divorce is a huge ending with great consequences. You would not be normal if you were not uneasy. But missing your husband (and suspect you might want him again) is something else all together. I will discuss this further in the following article.
Distance can really make the heart grow. People often do not believe me when I tell them that time and distance can really make the relationship better. That is why when people write and tell me their spouse wants "space", I usually say they get it. Because it does, it makes your partner an opportunity to miss you. The quiet and calm allows for sensible thinking. The anger and excitement stems from the fact that no one is involved anymore and loneliness can allow both sides to look neutral on the situation (and some things he or she played in it.) So, knowing that it's actually common to see the situation differently when You have had time and distance.
Just because I miss him, this does not mean that our problems will go away: I have to be honest, I'm a great president to save a marriage. It's even more so when one of the people begins to experience old feelings or begins to acknowledge the invalidity without others. So, I fully believe that if you have these feelings then you should be at least open to thinking a little more about where you want it go rather than just closing the door.
But when I tell women, they will often tell me like "okay, I miss my miss but there is still a lot of trouble in this marriage." Yes, but today is a new one day. It is quite possible that the time and distance that I keep on has helped you see things in a new light. And I tell you
Focus on your feelings rather than trying to fix the problem right away: What do I mean by "putting the carriage for the horse" it's so often people roll up their sleeves, grit their teeth and commit to "working on marriages." The problem with this is that when most people reach this level they are disconnected, no longer deeply bound and more than annoying with each other. Working on your problems is difficult but working on them when both do not feel a deep sense of connection, affection and honesty, is like trying to achieve a goal. This just does not seem to be fun.
I often say that people first try to restore positive emotions between you. You do not even have to worry about trying to define where it's going or whether you're coordinating or getting back together. Do not put this pressure on yourself. Instead, just acknowledge that you & # 39; miss him, tell him if you decide to do that and concentrate on spending time to see what happens. Do not worry about what to come. Just knowing that this person is a very important part of your life and you want to see if maybe for some time it will bring the light to the fact that things could possibly change.
You do not have to have a deep discussion about continuing to proceed and continuing with what went wrong. Actually, I totally avoid this. Just focus on light communication that does not allow much pressure but have the potential for entertainment. You are trying to see if there is any possibility of passing the child. Let one session build on the other. It should not take a long time for this scenario to become quite clear where you stand. But at least entertain yourself so that by the end of the day you will know that you did everything you could and did not ignore the emotions that are ready to get your attention.